👀POV: you are in Sammie's Close Friends story

First things first—what do you mean by “Close Friends story”??

One thing about me? I feel everything deeply. When I’m happy, I’m on top of the world. When I’m down, I can spiral into a black hole. ENFPs, y’all get me.

Most of what you see on my social media is my energetic, outgoing side. And grant it, 80% of the time I am like that. But there’s another side—one I usually keep for my close friends and my journal. Even though I always try to see the bright side, I’m only human. I go through struggles, doubts, and all the messy emotions in between.

Almost 2 years ago, I had the chance to be roommates with one of my favorite creators. Before meeting him, I thought I knew him inside out—after all, he shared so much of himself online. But the reality? People are multi-dimensional. No matter how real or vulnerable someone seems on social media, a 60-second video will never capture the whole of who they are.

And honestly, that’s how I feel about my own content. There’s so much more I want to share beyond my videos.

That’s why, starting this month, I’m switching things up. This newsletter is becoming my digital diary—a space where I get real real. The thoughts I’d usually only share in my journal? They’re coming here. It might get long, so grab a coffee (or tea) and find a cozy spot… let me tell you what’s been on my mind this past month.

April was… a weird one.

Let’s start with the good: I went to Thailand! It's seriously one of my favorite countries. When I was 16, I backpacked and couchsurfed there for 10 days—total eye-opening trip. (Also… saw a ping pong show in Pattaya. 16-year-old Sammie was both amazed and traumatized by what women can do with their vags lol)

Anyway, this time I went for Songkran, the Thai New Year—aka a giant, city-wide water fight! Everyone was carrying with water guns, people tossing buckets of icy water, and if you make eye contact… game over. You’re getting soaked. It was 33°C (91°F), but that ice water still gave me chills. My inner child was thriving—at least for the first two days. Eventually, I got tired of being drenched five minutes into leaving the hotel and had to start ubering everywhere. If you wanna relive my experience, I made a whole video about it.

But Chiang Mai was such a fun little escape. It was pretty affordable too! I spent under $800 for 5 days, including flights, stay, and activities. I remember learning about Songkran in school, and getting to experience it in real life? Bucket list moment. I’ve realized I’m not much of a big-city traveler. I love unique places and memorable experiences way more :)

Now onto the hard part of the month...

Right before my Thailand trip, I found out one of my close friends passed away unexpectedly. I cried the entire flight. The girl next to me even handed me tissues (thank you, kind stranger 🥹). I tried to process everything through grief journaling, and so much came out.

But if there’s one thing this reminded me of—it’s how fragile life is. Please, tell your people you love them. Spend more time with them. Laugh with them more.

Eric really lived. He chased his dreams, made people feel seen, and left a mark on everyone who crossed paths with him. That brings me some peace. But we still miss you so much. Until we meet again 🤍

His passing made me reflect a lot—on what I’m doing, what I’ve worked for, and where I’m headed.

For the longest time, all I wanted was an online community that really got me. I never had a dream job growing up, but when I stumbled into video creation, it just clicked. I knew this was it.

It still feels surreal that I actually made it happen. My biggest fear for years was, “What if I never make it?” That voice crept in during late nights or mid-showers. But I kept going. And to younger me—thank you for not giving up. Every all-nighter, every doubt, every tear... it was worth it. Oh btw, I don’t think I made it made it, but I’m happy with where I am at and this community I’ve built.

It felt euphoric at first, but once the high wore off, I found myself chasing the next dream: brand deals. (Hi capitalism 😅)

The reason I want it so badly? I finally understand how important financial freedom is.

I used to be super carefree about money—my family was comfortable, so I never really had to worry. But now? I get it. If I want to keep creating freely, traveling, and living on my own terms, I need that stability.

That said... I’ve also been impatient. It’s only been two months since I went all in. I need to breathe. The right things take time. I’ve had a few brand inquiries, but nothing that truly aligned—and I’d rather wait than say yes to something I don’t believe in. I want to promote brands I actually love, otherwise I’d feel like I’m letting you guys down. You’ve supported me through everything—I don’t take that lightly.

Anyway—on to something exciting…

I have a new dream: Forbes 30 Under 30.

Yeah, I know, it sounds bold. But I’ve got my back—even if no one else believes it yet. And when I do get there? The haters can stay quiet 😎

Delusion pair it with hard work is the recipe for success! I’m gonna keep sharing my perspective, telling real stories, and showing up as the best version of me. One year from now, I’ll be out of my parents’ house, living that nomadic creator life.

Growing up in Taiwan, I was told to chase the “safe” dream—good grades, doctor path and get married. Especially as a woman, there were even more rules. Traveling solo, being a creative, living outside the mold? Not exactly encouraged.

But I’m doing it anyway. And I hope that by doing so, I can show other ladies they can too. We can build our own paths :)

Sending love,

Sammie