This Was Everything I Ever Wanted... Now What?

Today, I woke up to the sound of roosters, in one of the most beautiful Airbnbs I’ve ever stayed in. Tucked away on a quiet island in Bali, overlooking the ocean, wrapped in green. A moment that looks like the dream life.

And yet… I didn’t feel happy. At least, not in the way I thought I would.

This is the first time I’ve written my newsletter after the month has ended. I told myself I was just busy. Three of my closest friends from Canada visited me in Taiwan. But the truth is, I’ve been feeling lost.

Since leaving Canada, I’ve been wondering: What story am I telling now? Do I still matter in the same way?
Sometimes it feels like the version of me people resonated with is stuck back in another chapter I’ve already lived.

I know I’m placing too much of my worth in numbers and responses. It’s hard not to, when your work lives on the internet and your value feels like it’s measured in views, saves, shares.

And here’s the part that really confuses me:
On paper, I am living the dream. I wake up to jungle sounds, I create freely, I travel, I am the version of myself I used to only dream about.

That 20-year-old girl who felt invisible. Who didn’t know where to begin on her content creation journey, who dreamed of seeing the world, and building a community who saw her for who she really was.

I became her.

And somehow… I still felt like something was missing. But for the next chapter, I hope to find peace in uncertainty, and remind myself I don’t need to be “more” to be enough.

Sending love,

Sammie