Why I Came to Sri Lanka Alone

Have you ever tried something once and immediately fallen in love with it?

That was me with surfing.

I first tried it 10 years ago in California. The ocean, the sunshine, the whole California energy totally fulfilled my childhood “American dream.” (Growing up on way too many American TV shows definitely planted those seeds.)

Fast forward to now: I’m at a surf camp in Sri Lanka.

But honestly, the first day made me want to go back already…

I came in expecting instant community. I imagined meeting like-minded, adventurous, free-spirited people and bonding right away. Instead, I saw people sitting in groups, playing games in their own circles. And I felt very aware that I was alone.

As an overthinker (and still relatively new to solo nomad life), my mind spiraled quickly.
Did I make a mistake? Should I shorten the trip? Maybe I should’ve just stayed in Southeast Asia where everything feels more familiar.

It’s crazy how quickly excitement can turn into doubt.

But then the next day, everything changed.

I met a girl around my age and we instantly bonded. The surf lessons have also been incredible. I went from being a total beginner to actually catching my own waves. And being in the ocean just makes me so happy! If you told me a year ago I’d be living like this: alone in Sri Lanka, learning how to surf, I genuinely wouldn’t have believed you.

This is a reminder to: Follow your heart. Do it scared. It will all work out 🙂 

Speaking of loneliness and community, before coming to Sri Lanka I spent some time in Thailand intentionally stepping out of my comfort zone to meet new people. I even created a “making friends” series on Instagram. Through that experience, I built a few genuinely meaningful connections and it gave me the confidence to come here alone.

Which brings me to something I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately: my core values.

Freedom.
Travel / Experiencing life fully.
Making meaningful connections.

I also started posting on Instagram again. Last time we talked about how action releases anxiety and I can confirm, it’s true! The making friends series isn’t doing amazing numbers-wise, but I proved to myself that I can do hard things (like having a sign that says looking 4 friends sign at a busy co-working space LOL)

As a creator who values freedom but still struggles with fear of judgment and loneliness, one book that’s helped me a lot (especially rereading it) is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson.

One line that pushed me to start posting: “The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less — giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.”

Nowadays, we don’t have a material crisis anymore, instead we have an existential one. There are too many options, too many opinions, too many things demanding our attention. And we don’t know what actually matters.

Two ideas from the book that I keep coming back to:

• The only people without problems are the dead. We all have problems. Happiness isn’t about avoiding them, it’s about choosing which problems you want to solve. Choose your pain wisely.

• It is the act of choosing your values and living by them that makes you great, not any outcome or accomplishment.

And right now, surfing in Sri Lanka, even if it started with loneliness and doubt, feels aligned with mine.

P.S. It really does get better if you give it time.

Hope you’re doing well, friends 🤍
If you want more travel / lifestyle content, I’ll see you on Instagram.

With love,

Sammie